From Comfort to Courage

Most of us, just like sweet Chipper in the picture, love our places of cozy comfort. Although your safe spot may not be on a rug under your best friend’s desk, it could be your bedroom, your home office, maybe even in drastic times, your closet! It can be a wrench to tear ourselves away from that safe spot. Chipper can only run, stretch in the sun and meet new, happy people if he gets out of his blanket.

I’m sure that You  know in Your heart that the only way you can offer your gift to the world is to get out into the world. It is only when you allow yourself to recognize your own value that you will gain courage to leave your cozy, safe place.

Then and only then can you be the captivating speaker you need to be to best  present your gifts. Neighbors, family members, co-workers, staff in stores you frequent. members of your groups are all affected by your openness to connecting in a friendly, positive way.

Confining your self to only what is familiar is like hiding away your gifts. No one can enjoy them. “What gifts?” you ask.

Take out a pen or pencil and write down three names of acquaintances that first come to mind.
Picture how you interact with them. Ask yourself what they might see as your “gifts.”

Public speaking terrifies many people Even professional speakers feel nervous before presentations.

Good speakers focus on using their unique gifts to share knowledge with audiences. As a service or product provider, you too can learn to captivate  your audience using your unique gifts.

As long as one person needs to know what you know, you owe it to yourself and to that person to share that knowledge.
Speaking from experience, the more you share the better it feels. And it feels great!

Staying in safe mode robs two sets of people: the potential giver- you, and the receiver(S), all of your clients.
The full impact and power of you positively interacting with others is best accomplished when you move away from safe and into exciting, adventurous public speaking. And that is where I can help. Contact me today if you are ready to leave your cozy, safe haven for wondrous success as a speaker.


Enrich Your life by Expanding Your Comfort Zones

Listen to the Audio Version!

Although this is focused on speaking to present and potential clients, I invite you to review a time in your life when you tried something new: maybe driving a car for the first time, down hill skiing, your first serious relationship, or perhaps your first job. Remember your jitters, but also remember the elation you felt when you completed what you wanted even if it wasn’t perfect. It doesn’t have to be!

You began a journey to success with a small beginning that just kept growing.

Why would you choose to go into discomfort?

Peter McWilliams spoke from experience when he reminded readers that

“To the degree we’re not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves.” He went on to state that

 “Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.”

If you have read this far my guess is that you already realize that what you are doing right now is not enough to achieve your dreams.

To gain more recognition, clients, financial returns you need to choose a venue that in the process of rewarding you will also challenge your comfort levels.  Only you can determine the degree of discomfort you are willing to accept to gain what you want .

You know that as you move beyond the familiar you will enter the wonderfully new and exciting world of Possibilities.

Those who know you well believe you are stronger, wiser and more talented than you give yourself credit for. It is only your own self doubts that hold you back. You are smart enough and strong enough to explore a new area of growth and to reinforce the beliefs of not only those who care about you but your own image of yourself.

How do you expand your comfort zones?

Recently I approached a group outside my city to inquire about speaking. Despite my experience in my own city I felt some nervousness about speaking to a new audience in a new setting . The nervousness kept coming and going. “Better practise what I advise others to do”, I said to myself.

 

  • Picture the new group responding positively to your message.
  • Brighten your topic to include humor, props, visual material.
  • Increase your speaking fee to reflect the greater value you plan to bring to the group and/or your recognition of the value you bring always. If this is a “no fee” occasion remind yourself of the value you bring with a bright flyer/poster and a promise to return with another “for fee” project.
  • Wear something comfortable but special to mark this occasion.
  • Invite a trusted friend to take photos and add moral support.

It helped me.

What’s in “discomfort for you?

  • Advanced marketing to a wider audience
  • Excitement of meeting the challenge
  • Movement out of the rut of comfort and into the thrill of stretching your self.
  • The thrill of spreading your wings to fly higher and farther than you ever have before .
  • “ We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can learn to be free! we can learn to fly!”
    Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Contact me for further tips!


Leadership is Confident Communicating with Heart

If you feel like a leader you are right.

Leaders in our society can be students, family members, messengers in spiritual centers,  artists and entertainers,  scientists, explorers, humanitarian  and animal rights advocates, inventors, athletes, writers, and sometimes political leaders.

Genuine leaders create a positive legacy through putting the welfare of others ahead of their own interests and consistently matching actions to goals.

I like to describe their leadership as “Confident Communication with Heart.”

We have all witnessed men and women who have charmed, bullied and even bought their way into positions of power. Their leadership was based on greed and ego.

Real Leaders (past and present) foster development by bringing out the best in others as they speak to connect.

Real Leaders face personal and public challenges with courage. In word and deed they communicate compassion with heart and without bias.

Real Leaders serve the welfare of others while tirelessly sharing time and attention .

Mahatma Gandhi, Jesus Christ, Eleanor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, and Jean Vanier   are only a few leaders who have lived with heart and encouraged many followers to become leaders.

I remember reading how shy Eleanor Roosevelt once was. Her vision to see the better good for many enabled her to overcome her timidity so she could share her vision of helping the downtrodden.

Confident communicating arises from being able to determine what is most important, and to share that focus clearly. Confidence is available to everyone who wants something better. The more you learn to communicate with heart the greater your confidence will grow.

To think about:

What leaders inspire you? How have they affected your work? Your personality? Your social life? Your choices?

In what way do you see yourself as a leader?

How can we help our young people to develop leadership skills?

If you feel compelled please respond.

Positively, Pauline
Author of Speak &Lead
Amazingly You…. Confident Communicating with Heart


Speaking for Success: Connecting with Clarity

Potholes in the road can cause havoc! So can poor communication.

Jagged holes in formerly smooth pavements force us to veer off our chosen path.

If the pothole suddenly appears and we roll over or worse still fall in it can cause serious damage and expensive repairs.

Pot holes in communication put everyone’s nerves on edge, waste time and energy!

People who don’t know where they stand or what is expected of them become cranky, unproductive and worse.

Circumstances and our habits can turn us into communication pot hole creators.

Or we may be the victims of pot hole communicators.

Awareness of the dangers and consequences can enable us to find appropriate tools to fix what needs to be fixed before we cause serious damage to relationships and to business.

Three communication pothole creators I have noticed in business meetings

  1. Pokey Ramblers
  2. Serious Speedsters
  3. Over the Edgers
  1. Ramblers take 25 sentences to make one vague point. Their disconnected thoughts cause huge gaps in understanding for the listeners. Potential clients who fear that their time is being wasted will search for alternate providers.

Connect with a Click Clarity Solutions:

  • Write your concluding sentence ( the reason you are speaking) first.
  • Create point forms that support that conclusion.
  • Edit or have a professional editor assist you to use concise language.
  • Observe role models who speak concisely.
  • Hire a professional coach to assist you for special events that require time management and clear delivery.
  1. Speedsters cram as many words as possible into as short a time as they can.

In this whirlwind of ideas bewildered listeners gasp for thinking time.

Connect with a Click Clarity Solutions:

  • Practise speaking more slowly in everyday conversations.
  • Respond to puzzled looks by pausing to apologize for speaking too quickly.
  • Interject questions related to audience needs with pauses.
  • Practise speaking with a friend who speaks more slowly than you.
  • Choose concise language that has impact.
  1. Over the edgers turn every business item into an emotional drama. Their clients walk away fatigued and eager for a rational, positive solution and a different business.

Connect with a Click Clarity Solutions :

  • Restore inner calm by choosing to relax in calming places and activities for you.
  • Replenish your core of professional well being with daily affirmations.
  • Invest time relating with professional colleagues who are calm.
  • Recognize multiple benefits that result from releasing drama.

 

 


Speaking for Success with Family and Friends

Dedicated to my late Aunt Phyl with love

Despite her advanced stages of lung to brain cancer my beloved Aunt Phyl was right there in the front seat of her cousin’s van to meet me at the Orlando airport.

Her face was bruised from the fall in the shower but her eyes glowed with love as she reached out to give me hugs and to whisper “I’m so happy you came!”  For a lovely week we talked, laughed and just enjoyed each other’s company. I think we both knew without saying it out loud that this would be

The last time we shared together.

My aunt Phyl , as described in my book Swimmin’ Women , published in 2008, “developed a zesty sense of humour and generous spirit that kept bouncing back throughout her life”. During my last week with her in 2016 she was still feisty, funny and independent as we shared time together.

She wondered out loud “Why am I still here?” I would answer “Because you inspire all of us.”  Aunt Phyl passed away ten days after I returned home.

Connecting with family and friends whether they are healthy or ill can leave us feeling both challenged and vulnerable as they have seen us in many situations that those who know us only briefly sometimes miss.

Three suggestions that might help:

  1. Speak your love out loud simply, genuinely and frequently.
  1. Honour both their rights and yours to be independent in what they do, what they share and when they choose to be silent. Quietly and calmly assert your own rights to be treated with respect .
  1. Show compassion for their victories, their challenges and their hopes and dreams by listening without interrupting and asking questions when appropriate. Share your own triumphs and challenges, your own goals so they too can be the givers of compassion.

Positively, Pauline


From Victim to Victor: Part I: Beginnings of Assertiveness

Mouse

“I am not a mouse” she said
But silently inside her head.

Her father, quiet, introverted scholar
Bullied into leaving army life he loved.

Never learned to interact
With his one and only child
a mother’s girl, quiet, polite,
placid so he thought.

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How to Beat Frazzle: Part III: Energy from Eating, Exercise and Entertainment

cf_healthy-foods_mainWell-balanced, tasty meals.  About three months ago, we deleted wheat products. After a few weeks it’s made going past desserts at buffets a little easier. There are always gluten-free bakeries if we feel a strong craving!

Organic vegetables and fruit are appearing in more local grocery stores and markets, along with great varieties of locally-grown produce and exotic foods.

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How to Beat Frazzle: Part II: ZZZZZZs for Zest!

Sleeping ~ How much is enough? How much is too much?  

restfulsleepHealth experts suggest a minimum of seven hours. I’ve read that any hour before midnight is extra powerful.

From personal experience the times I go to bed before 10:30 make waking up and getting up at 6:30 very easy. Rested, bright and alert, ready to greet a new day.

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How To Beat Frazzle: Part I

To you, dear blog readers, I share what I wrote in my introduction to Out of Frantic, Into Focus Workbook.

Dedicated to  readers who may feel:

franticFrantic with worry

Rushed with living

Anxious about what is happening

Nervous about what might happen

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Getting Real

old-comfy-shoes-300x235

Calmy, with an inner, self-satisfied smile,

we release silly worries, foolish friends, guile.

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