Speaking for Success with Family and Friends

Dedicated to my late Aunt Phyl with love

Despite her advanced stages of lung to brain cancer my beloved Aunt Phyl was right there in the front seat of her cousin’s van to meet me at the Orlando airport.

Her face was bruised from the fall in the shower but her eyes glowed with love as she reached out to give me hugs and to whisper “I’m so happy you came!”  For a lovely week we talked, laughed and just enjoyed each other’s company. I think we both knew without saying it out loud that this would be

The last time we shared together.

My aunt Phyl , as described in my book Swimmin’ Women , published in 2008, “developed a zesty sense of humour and generous spirit that kept bouncing back throughout her life”. During my last week with her in 2016 she was still feisty, funny and independent as we shared time together.

She wondered out loud “Why am I still here?” I would answer “Because you inspire all of us.”  Aunt Phyl passed away ten days after I returned home.

Connecting with family and friends whether they are healthy or ill can leave us feeling both challenged and vulnerable as they have seen us in many situations that those who know us only briefly sometimes miss.

Three suggestions that might help:

  1. Speak your love out loud simply, genuinely and frequently.
  1. Honour both their rights and yours to be independent in what they do, what they share and when they choose to be silent. Quietly and calmly assert your own rights to be treated with respect .
  1. Show compassion for their victories, their challenges and their hopes and dreams by listening without interrupting and asking questions when appropriate. Share your own triumphs and challenges, your own goals so they too can be the givers of compassion.

Positively, Pauline


Confidence Building By Creating Your Own Kudos: Part III

DO focus on creating a life that is wonderfully fulfilling every day.

confidence3Starting fresh each day gives us permission to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, to forgive others and to concentrate on enjoying the moments before us.

How often do we find ourselves complaining about what is going wrong: the weather, our looks, our relationships, our work?

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Confidence Building By Creating Your Own Kudos: Part II

UNDERSTAND that although everyone seems to have free advice, the bottom line is that you are the one who needs to wade through all of the ideas until you arrive at what suits you.

confidence2_choiceYour choices may mirror what your parents want for you or they may be vastly different. You may need to put your foot down to let family and friends know your right to decide is your right.

Each of us has the right to choose what we believe to be important. You may be the first in your family to graduate from university or you may be the first to choose to not enter university, instead embarking on a year or so of travel, volunteer work or combined work experiences with part-time study.

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